Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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