I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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