tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
