Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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