My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She just used a chaser for red wine.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
