Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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