last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize