yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
