Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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