sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
