Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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