I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize