You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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