maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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