I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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