I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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