Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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