She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
