Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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