My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
