i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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