Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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