I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
