did you get engaged???
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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