Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
