dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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