I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
