...so i touched it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
