This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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