somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The best revenge is premature balding
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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