How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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