It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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