i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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