If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
