JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
