Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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