You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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