Sry I called you an 8
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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