glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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