I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
dude. I can hear the air.
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