I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
