oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
