Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
