Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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