I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize