WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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