You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize