So drunk its hurt
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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