tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize