So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
