so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
