You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize