I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize