im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
