so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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