rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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