He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
