Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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