i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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