garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This is classic penis vs brain.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
