And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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