He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
