how can u be prego again
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
