Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
