she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
