I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
