you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I cut my penus on the lid.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
