Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
