i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize