I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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